I hung up the phone, a morning’s labor done. AAA would come tow the Bodhiheart van, deliver it to the service center south of the city, and we wouldn’t have to go all the way down there with it. Sorting that out was grueling.

I stood up. And took one step, then another. My legs felt shaky, vulnerable, as if I’d escaped a near death event. Sorting that whole thing out was grueling! I looked out the window to take some strength from the sunshine. I’d better get in motion to work off the adrenalin. Where’d I put my shopping list? “You’re the only one I know who does grocery shopping for self-care,” TJ said as I went out the door.

I could hardly feel my feet as I walked into the store through the sliding doors. The survival instinct on overdrive, I mused. As I waited for the elevator, the man in front of me broke through the fog of my jitters. He was elderly, of solid build, moving with a cane. It occurred to me that I could slow down and move alongside him.

So, I did. I stayed close as we rode the elevator together. Hmmm. He must be north of 80, and he’s moving through the store on his own. Isn’t there anyone to help him? I felt tenderness. And admiration for his strength.

The elevator doors opened and he walked ahead of me. A heart-glow of warmth melted the edge of my jangly state. He has no idea how he is healing my distress, transforming my whole day just by being here, by being wobbly, just like me. The kindness of others…

It’s a crazy morning at Bodhiheart Central.

The van broke down and we can’t find the warranty papers…I feel grateful to take a quiet step away from the pressure. Things fall apart. This is normal. If it is a product of causes and conditions, I can’t stop it from changing. Reflecting on this truth relaxes my sense of being victimized. I took a quiet moment to set up the light and water offerings at the altar. “Mundane nirvana” means there are spaces of serenity even in our daily lives.

Where is your mind taking you?

The Buddha said: “Mind is the forerunner of all experience. Mind leads and shapes experience. Speak or act with a corrupted mind and suffering follows.”
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“Mind is the forerunner of all experience. Mind is chief, experiences are mind-made. Speak or act with a wholesome mind and happiness follows.”
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When I first heard this, it brought me to a standstill. I had a lot of things that I was complaining about. And I spoke impulsively and simmered with tons of remorse. Oh boy!
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The Buddha was throwing me a lifeline, and my teachers were there to help me sort myself out. I felt encouraged, energized, like, wow, I’m on my way here!